


Put a Ring on It

by misura



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Community: schmoop_bingo, Multi, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-08
Updated: 2010-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>'ADAM LAMBERT COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET ... AGAIN!' splayed all over the cover of </i>Rolling Stone<i> probably should have been Kris's first clue, except that it didn't so much seem to be a clue as yet more proof that Adam didn't always live in quite the same universe as the rest of the world (or at least: the same universe as Kris).</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Put a Ring on It

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _wedding_

'ADAM LAMBERT COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET ... AGAIN!' splayed all over the cover of _Rolling Stone_ probably should have been Kris's first clue, except that it didn't so much seem to be a clue as yet more proof that Adam didn't always live in quite the same universe as the rest of the world (or at least: the same universe as Kris).

"You 'came out of the closet' as straight," Kris said, keeping his voice nice and neutral.

"I'd been hoping we could talk before you'd read the interview?" Adam offered.

Kris noticed Adam didn't say he'd been hoping to talk to Kris before he _gave_ the interview. "I'm a woman now?"

"Unless you take off your clothes, I can't really answer that question with complete certainty?" Kris glowered - well, frowned a little, at least. Adam sighed. "Katy's a woman."

"I'd noticed," Kris said dryly. "Having sex with a woman does not make someone straight though, last time I checked. Seriously, man, what's going on? You could have just come out as bisexual."

"My publicist says we want to be saving that one for a rainy day," Adam said.

Kris had met Adam's publicist. "Oh." It didn't mean he had to _like_ whatever she'd decided to be best for Adam's career, though. "Like when you're seventy or something like that?" And it _definitely_ didn't mean he was going to let Adam off as easy as that.

"I hope it's never, actually."

"Yeah." Kris didn't think he still wanted to be performing when he was seventy. He enjoyed it, of course - it was an incredible rush to come face to face with a stadium full of people and know they were all there because they wanted to hear your music, but Kris enjoyed the part that came before at least as much, the part where it was just him and the music.

Adam gave him a look. "You know, if you feel that strongly about it, you could give an interview yourself. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to have you."

Kris was sure his publicist would be thrilled to kill him before he went and talked about his relationship with Adam in an interview - let alone the part where Katy came in.

"I just think it's kind of weird, that's all," he said.

"Welcome to the music business."

 

Kris's second clue was one he didn't think anyone could blame him for missing, given that it didn't involve him directly at all - it was just Adam asking Katy to see her and Kris's wedding pictures.

Given that Kris was also in the room at the time, it did occur to Kris that Adam could also have asked _him_ , but okay, Kris remembered his reaction to Adam asking his mother for pictures of Kris as a kid, so maybe Adam just thought Kris had something against pictures in general. ( _Adam_ 's mother hadn't even waited for Kris to _ask_ before she'd broken out the photo albums.)

"Is this somewhere nearby?" Adam asked, when Katy showed him that official 'wedding picture' Kris's mother had standing on her nightstand, even though Kris thought he looked way too tense in it.

"The church?" Katy sounded puzzled.

"I think they demolished it a few years ago," Kris said. His mother had been rather upset about it, and Kris had been a little, too. "They build new housing there, I think. Or maybe a parking garage."

"So if you'd ever get married again, would you want it to be at the same place?"

"What?" Kris asked.

"It's not about the place; it's about the other people who are there," Katy said firmly, and Adam nodded, like he'd been hoping she'd say that, except that Kris had no idea what Adam was talking about, given that Kris and Katy were married already.

 

The third clue was the last one, and kind of really hard to miss, so Kris got that one loud and clear.

"Kristopher Allen, will you let me make an honest man out of you?" Adam asked, holding out one of those little boxes with a ring in it they always showed you in the movies. (Kris had just offered Katy a bunch of flowers, because his mother had told him that even if Katy was a sure thing, it still wouldn't do to get stuck with a pair of rings he didn't have any use for.)

"I'm not an honest man now?" Kris replied, which may not have been the wittiest thing he'd ever said, but this whole thing had rather taken him aback.

"You can't just say 'yes, thank you very much for the beautiful ring, Adam'?"

"Hey!" Kris protested. "You're the one who brought honesty into this. What's the idea, anyway?"

"I'm asking you to marry me," Adam explained.

"What about Katy?" Kris asked.

"Unlike a certain someone, Katy _did_ say 'yes, thank you very much for the beautiful ring, Adam'. Now, I'm not married to the lady - not _yet_ , anyway - but I think she might get a little annoyed with you if I tell her you're being an idiot about this." Adam beamed at Kris.

Kris considered his options and decided they were somewhat limited. "It's not really my kind of jewelry," he said, plucking the ring from the box. It looked expensive.

"Maybe you should upgrade your wardrobe a little so that it matches a bit better."

Kris sighed and put the ring on his left hand. "You know, you're about the last person I'd expected to want to turn this whole thing into something as conventional as a marriage. Well, a fake marriage, anyway." It wasn't as if Kris'd _mind_ playing along with Adam's little fantasy, but it still seemed odd and rather unlike Adam.

"Who said anything about it being fake?" Adam asked.

 

"This can't possibly be legal," Kris said.

As far as getting married in a parking garage went, it was a nice enough set-up, he supposed. The lighting was spectacular, and it was rather obvious no expenses had been spared in turning the place into, well, a place where people could get married.

Katy looked slightly stunned. Kris tried not to feel smug or say things like 'I told you so'.

"There was a lot of paperwork involved, but the short version is that this parking garage is temporarily a different country," Adam said. "One where it's legal for three people to get married."

"So we won't be married anymore once we're back home?" Kris couldn't tell from Katy's tone if she was relieved or disappointed.

"That'd be rather pointless, wouldn't it?" Adam replied. "Don't worry - my publicist knows a guy who knows a guy in the White House. There's just a few more details they're still working out."

"Wait," Kris said, "the _President_ 's in on this?" Because he didn't think some clerk would have the authority to just decide that sure, it was okay to be married to two people at once if you happened to be Adam Lambert.

"Sorry, I really can't comment on that." Adam winked. "Or rather: I could, but then the CIA might send someone to kill you, and I'm too young to be a widower."

 

There was cake. There also was a knife with which they were supposed to cut the cake, except that it was really kind of awkward to try and cut a cake when there were two other people's hands holding the knife, so that didn't go so well, until Adam delegated the cake-cutting duty to someone from catering.

There were a lot of guests Kris didn't know who all looked at him like he should have been the sexiest, best-looking and funniest guy ever and they felt rather let down by the reality of Kris being, well, Kris.

Katy got a little tipsy near the end of the party, and Kris got a little tired of telling himself that getting drunk wouldn't help, and then Adam got on some sort of improvised stage and started singing and Kris decided he was kind of glad he'd stayed sober, because Adam was clearly even drunker than Katy, even if you couldn't tell it from his voice.

Someone had turned the top level of the parking garage into something that vaguely resembled a bedroom, except a lot bigger, and with the bed in the middle (except of sensibly set against a wall or better yet, in a corner) and with a truckload (or several truckloads, most likely) of soft pillows on the floor. Also, Kris noticed: rose petals.

It kind of made him want to laugh at how _ridiculous_ and over the top it all was, except that it was also kind of sweet and romantic, so it was sort of a pity Adam feel asleep the moment Kris had managed to drag him over to the bed, after he'd managed to convince Katy it was really a good idea to lie down for a while.


End file.
